Here, at BestFunnyQuotes.com you will find a vast collection of funny quotes and sayings, humorous quotations from stars, writers, celebs, authors, actors, entertainers of today & through history.
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe." ~ Jimmy Durante
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. ~ Fred Allen
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. ~ Author Unknown
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. ~ Jean Kerr
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. ~ Author Unknown
The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory. ~ Paul Fix
I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type. ~ Bob Hope
Always remember that you are unique - just like everyone else. ~ Gabor Timis
Dont's wait for a light at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself. ~ Author Unknown
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. ~ Al McGuire
Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted. ~ Bob Monkhouse
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it? ~ Author Unknown
I thought I wanted a career, but it turns out I just wanted paychecks. ~ Author Unknown
In heaven, all the interesting people are missing. ~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. ~ Author Unknown
I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They are everywhere. - Author Uknown
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